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I have a

I have a "Waiter, there's a hair in my soup" dance. It involves platform shoes, a mustache, and a hair net.

You are beautiful. Have a day much like yourself.

If I could live my life all over I'd do everything the same; the film in my camera would remain the same; there's no way lord, to leave this love behind.

If I could live my life all over I'd do everything the same; the film in my camera would remain the same; there's no way lord, to leave this love behind.

human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello.

human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello.

People who get through life dependent on other people's possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.

People who get through life dependent on other people's possessions are always the first to lecture you on how little possessions count.

Fine. Fine. Let's try. You asked why bad things happen to good people. Well, the simple answer is, there are no bad things and there are no good people. Nothing bad ever happens to anyone and people are neither good nor bad. A person is nothing. A person does not exist. There are no people.

Fine. Fine. Let's try. You asked why bad things happen to good people. Well, the simple answer is, there are no bad things and there are no good people. Nothing bad ever happens to anyone and people are neither good nor bad. A person is nothing. A person does not exist. There are no people.

People always love it when you say their dogs are nice. Just shows you how out of touch they are.

People always love it when you say their dogs are nice. Just shows you how out of touch they are.

All that I am, can be, and will be, I owe to wisdom; without prudent decision making, I am dust.

All that I am, can be, and will be, I owe to wisdom; without prudent decision making, I am dust.

I was excellent. Everybody loved me. I love myself, and i like bums.

I was excellent. Everybody loved me. I love myself, and i like bums.

I feel sad to see our former president picture in handcuffs but happy to know that no one is above the law.

I feel sad to see our former president picture in handcuffs but happy to know that no one is above the law.

My mother-in-law scared the hell out of me. But it's cool, because the stench of Satan reminds me of her anyways. Hungry? Deviled eggs anyone?

My mother-in-law scared the hell out of me. But it's cool, because the stench of Satan reminds me of her anyways. Hungry? Deviled eggs anyone?

It's so easy to fall in love but hard to find someone who will catch you.

It's so easy to fall in love but hard to find someone who will catch you.

The playing field isn't level. All just beautiful bitches with a hint of the devil.

The playing field isn't level. All just beautiful bitches with a hint of the devil.

Pulse proximity is not intimacy.

Pulse proximity is not intimacy.

There's always been the educational process of teaching people that I sing, that I've sung all my life and that I'm not an actor who just decided to sing, ... I consider myself a singer first.

There's always been the educational process of teaching people that I sing, that I've sung all my life and that I'm not an actor who just decided to sing, ... I consider myself a singer first.

Fun Quiz

Which Justin Bieber is real?
Left is real
Right is real